Attractive people have better lives than you

Here's how you can improve yours without changing your appearance

The universe seems to hold a little extra space for the beautiful among us, as they frolic on boats and attend lavish parties in scenic gardens. Their pearly smiles seem wider and happier in their IG stories, reminding us normies that our day to day is so bland in comparison. Yet, one little perspective shift can change all of that for you, even if you’re aggressively average, like me. Here’s how:

The world tends to segment itself broadly into groups that are pretty clearly visually identified, like an 80s movie with lunch tables that separate the jocks, the art kids, and the computer nerds. Similarly, attractive people are often seen with those who are also good-looking. Anyone who looks for group patterns long enough can start to notice some things and one very clear one is that the hotties have much more fun.

Now, maybe they have more fun because the world is good to them. But maybe the world is good to them because they have more fun. Both can be true, but I have a strong suspicion that the second one, (which you can control), is a way to immediately improve your existence, no matter what your face looks like. You too could reap the rewards of the beautiful, by exuding effortless joy.

This could be you (on the inside)

I’m surely not the first person to tell you that the world treats you better the higher that you rate on the attractiveness scale. Questions get answered with more depth when your face is more symmetrical. Extra care is taken to assure your comfort when your clothes are fitted to your composition. Here’s where it gets interesting, though: I don’t necessarily think that visual attractiveness is always at the core of it.

Whatever the “fun gene” is, the extroverted social genetics that makes some people the life of the party, is also a character trait that tends to be more broadly attractive. Thus, just being fun leads people to out-do their base physical capabilities, have higher-caliber partners, and over time produce offspring that happens to be both fun and hot. It’s why funny guys can date models and have really lovely family Christmas cards.

That fun gene shows itself as a raw playfulness, an enthusiasm for engagement. By taking things less seriously, as if time wasn’t such a constraint, and worries are placed second to experience, the world de facto becomes easier.

You may think ‘No, they’re just more confident’, and you wouldn’t be wrong. Confidence is the internal feeling, but what is the external behavior of confidence? Relaxation. Assuredness. Social engagement. Fun.

Confidence is freedom from consequence, operating without fear of judgement or condemnation. There’s no worry about what might happen, because you feel in control of it, or at least able to control your reaction to it. And what does that result in? Being more playful and having more fun with your actions. The end result is the same.

All of us, from our Main Character perspective, have to maximize the outcomes of every situation so that we can continue to move up in the world. At the bottom of the ladder and with limited time in life to climb it, even a single misstep could ruin everything. Those with the advantage of being born on the top floor are not so worried. Being free from worry is essentially what we all really want. Even when we lottery-fantasize, many of us dream about paying bills for ourselves and for others, giving the gift of removing their worry. Transitively, being around those who are free from worry lets us double-check our presumptions that we need to worry at all, by allowing us to relax and to play with life in a way that we can’t do when we’re gripping it so tightly.

Put linearly, it goes like this:

• The world treats you well

• You expect good from the world

• You stress less about things going badly

• Life feels more playful and fun

• Good attracts good

• Existence improves

Because of this, being around attractive people makes us feel looser, more relaxed, and at ease than we are in our own heads. There is a feeling of safety, that someone brought a bright enough flashlight to wash away the fear of wolf attacking you from the dark. If they’re not worried, you don’t have to worry, and things will be ok. It’s an infectious attitude, everyone benefits from it, and it’s not tied to being attractive.

You can jump to step two without needing step one.

Anyone can live a life with effortless ease. Anyone can allow others the sanctity of relaxation in their existence. All it takes is someone to go first to loosen the grip and enjoy the feeling of the ball within their palm, of the game at hand, without the worry of needing to win. The person who reminds everyone else that the score is just a number but the game is an experience, is the person that breathes enjoyment back into the team.

A man with an inheritance does not have to worry about stockpiling to retire at 65, and avoiding that scurrying race to hoard resources gives him emotional security. You could have emotional security, too. You just have to choose it.

You have to find a way to be happy with your present moment, otherwise you will strive forever for the future and waste 80 percent of your time on earth in service of the 20 percent when you’re too old to care. Easier said than done, right? Maybe, but probably not.

If you are in the midst of suffering, find peace in being on the path to recovery. If you see no way out, look positively towards the opportunity that the world might provide in the future. If you are facing an insurmountable loss, find security in the previous existence and the eventual end. There is no harming the person who is self-secure, and the person who is self-secure gifts that security to everyone in the environment. You alone are the penultimate decider of your success because you are the one who chooses the measuring stick.

The ability to proclaim to others that the resources will not be scarce, that the world will provide for you, and conveying that through a sense of ease and comfort in interacting with your daily experience is what is attractive. Tension is the most unattractive quality. Imagine two (sober) men in a fight. One looks tense, eyes wide and obviously stressed, while the other looks casual and relaxed. Even in the face of danger, who would you feel safer with? Comfort in the face of fear, relaxation in the face of the unknown, and security in the sense that everything will work out is the most attractive quality because others internalize that signal and feel relaxed themselves. The experience of peace is the most attractive thing that you can have, and if you want to be more attractive, then work to find your peace.

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For explicit ways to find peace, read more here:

With love from me to you,

-A

Note: No AI was used to write, edit, or otherwise modify this article.